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I'm looking at the red and yellow sky.
But my eyes burn.

I'm frantically running through my mind.

The people I've met,
The ones I've befriended.

The dreams we sketched,
The days we lived.


How long away were they?
It seems like seconds ago that we breathed the summer's night air.

We were kings of those days and nights.
Careless and free.

Misguided, nothing we cared for.
Our eyes aimed for the sky.

Conversations of simplicity and complexity.
Girls, fears, what lays ahead for us in the years.

But those days are gone,
those days were beautiful.

My tears evaporate within seconds of their life.
Like my life, just seconds.


Those days are here though, dancing around me.....
Or is it just the flames?....
...
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:iconagnes-arelia:
Agnes-Arelia Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
A very interesting piece. I enjoyed reading it.
Reply
:iconcherishkay:
CherishKay Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Featured here: [link]
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011
Thank so so much:3.
Reply
:iconcherishkay:
CherishKay Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome, I was glad to do it :aww:
Reply
:iconchocopie5:
chocopie5 Featured By Owner May 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i like the last two lines. they just kind of sneak in there and BAM!-soulpunch. :D
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:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
Haha, thanks:)
Reply
:iconcharityk:
CharityK Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I am the reviewr for literature in the group "#1-10". I apologize for the delay in reviews but its hard to keep up with all the literature contributions we get. I have rated your work a 6 for advanced artists. I really enjoyed this, especially the originality. The only reason I did not rate it higher is the fact that grammar could be improved in some areas. Thank you for the contribution and if you have any questions, send me a note!
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:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011
May you tell me what grammar troubles I had? Thanks.
Reply
:iconcharityk:
CharityK Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
gladly! the only few I would say is where it says "How long away where they?" I, personally would have said "How long ago WERE they?" or even keep it like you had it but say "How long away WERE they?". Also, where you said "We were kings those days and nights" Im not sure if you meant to say "We were kings OF those days and nights" or "We were kings, those days and nights". Nothing that severe, of course, and nothing that was that distracting from the feel of the poem, which I REALLY enjoyed! I hope you weren't too offended by my rating!
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011
Oh no not at all! ^-^. And I am really glad you mentioned these mistakes to me. I HATE making errors like that. Thank you again, I'll fix those right away.
Reply
:iconcharityk:
CharityK Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
You can always re-submit it after you're done and Ill gladly put it in a higher rated folder in our group! Just let me, personally, know when you have so it doesnt get lost in the shuffle.
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011
Okay, I have fixed the errors. ^-^.
Thank you for pointing them out.
Reply
:iconcharityk:
CharityK Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
no problem. I will look it over again and rate it accordingly. :)
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconfallen-dawn:
Fallen-Dawn Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011
Interesting concept. I'm not one for verse, but this was nicely done.
Reply
:iconshazic7:
shazic7 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
Good writing, full of thought and emotion.
I read the comments, I see it was about the passing of someone?
If that's so, I'm sorry for your loss of them. I also recently lost someone.

Keep up your writing, and I hope you are doing well.
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
Thank you, and it is about the passing of someone, but not in the way you think. But I am sorry for your loss. :(
Reply
:iconshazic7:
shazic7 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
Either way, it is tragic to lose someone and I'm sorry that you have. :(

Thank you.
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
Thank you, and you are welcome.
Reply
:iconsolastri:
solastri Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
I would never have guessed this was about someone's passing until I read the description. It more reads like the passing of younger years and growing up so maybe a bit less subtlety would help in guiding the reader toward your idea a bit better. Ambiguity is great to an extent, but you don't want your message to be totally missed :]
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:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
Ahhh, well how should I change it so my message gets across?
Reply
:iconsolastri:
solastri Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
Well, for starters, is the person recalling the memories the one that died or someone being remembered?
Reply
:icondevil-loves-angel:
Devil-Loves-Angel Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011
the person recalling is the one that died, yes.
Reply
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